


Lost and Found

by Sairyn



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, M/M, Marvey Fic Challenges, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:38:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5503283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sairyn/pseuds/Sairyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Mike's secret is exposed he has to make some hard choices; choices that take him away from everyone and everything he loves. How will Harvey cope? And what happens when they run into each other "unexpectedly".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harvey

 

Dec. 19th

"What do you mean you're sending me to LA?  It’s Christmas, Harvey yells. "I'm not going anywhere."

Jessica raises an eyebrow; a subtle, silent _-care to try that statement again?_

But Harvey is well beyond the capability of picking up subtle clues and hints, and unfortunately this fact is not new. Most would say (in other words Donna), that he has been "off" since that night almost a half a year ago. 

"Harvey, I’ve given you a lot of leeway, but I am just about done with you and your goddamn attitude. I have been patient, giving you time, especially with everything you went through..."

He winces internally, remembering the things he gave up, the people he lost. After the arrest, Harvey went to see Mike, promised him he would get him out of this mess- but found he couldn’t. It wasn't that Harvey didn't try. He called in every favor; talked to everyone and anyone, but for every move he made, a counter move blocked him. He wasn’t even allowed to see him after that first night.  No matter what he tried, Harvey found himself met with silence, until it became clear that Mike was lost, at least lost to him.

To say it hasn't been an easy transition would be an understatement. Thankfully, Harvey was able to keep practicing law and maintain his status as name partner due to Jessica. He knew better than to ask silly questions like how. These days he works more than ever, pulling in almost double the billables than before, but the truth remains it doesn’t matter, it still can’t make up for all he lost.

"...But I have had enough” Jessica continues her voice calm, and deadly.” And if you can’t get your shit together, trust me I will not hesitate to bury you so far below the mail room, no-one will find your body. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"

"Fine, I'll go and get you your client back on track. But I am not goddamn happy about it."

"Oh Harvey", she replies sweetly. "You being happy isn't a requirement. _Me_ being happy on the other hand, is. Now get out of my office." She smiles then, the smile she shares with adversaries and small children who get in her way.

Harvey forces himself not to glare at her before turning around and leaving. “Why the hell _I_ have to go to Los Angeles during the holidays is beyond me. As if there was something so important it couldn't wait until after the dam holidays”, he mumbles to himself. _Like Christmas at home with a bottle of Scotch and Star Trek marathons is a better option?”_ His inner voice chides back.

"Gretchen, I'm going to need..."

"Already booked your hotel and flight, your meeting is set for Thursday at 11 am. All the files have been sent to your laptop. Ray will pick you up at 8 tomorrow morning. Your itinerary and all of the particulars are in here", she says matter of fact while handing Harvey a large white envelope.

"How did...? Are you sure you are not Donna's twin?"

"More like she's Gretchen 2.0 if you ask me, but since you didn't, is there anything else you need before I clear the rest of your afternoon so you can go home?"

"No. Thank you Gretchen.”

"You're welcome Mr. Specter."

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur. Snow is lightly falling outside of his window while he is packing for a trip he does not want to take, to a place he definitely does not want to go. He flips on the TV and pours himself a generous helping of his favorite scotch, hoping to fool his brain into **not** rehashing the last few months. But like most nights, his thoughts run in an endless loop of missed opportunities and of things said and not said; to his family, to Donna and most recently Mike.

 _How the hell did you get here Specter?_ He silently wonders. _Years of practice_ , his conscious answers. Harvey has spent most of his life avoiding, deflecting or downright ignoring any real feelings, so that when they finally were welcomed, he couldn’t recognize them. Even when they were staring him straight in the face complete with crystal blue eyes.

Harvey knew that it wasn't a fear of being _with_ someone- male or female. No, for him it was more about fearing finding _the_ one, and if he did, how soon would he fuck it up. Because that is what he does; he fucks things up.

With a grunt, Harvey zips up his travel bag and finishes the last of his scotch. It’s 1 am. He turns off all the lights and heads out to the patio letting his mind drift. He knows he should try and go to bed, but  it seems all he does is toss and turn and when sleep finally does come, it brings with it fitful dreams. He’s forgotten how it feels to sleep peacefully. When morning does come, his mood matches the blistering sky.

La Guardia is a nightmare filled with tons of people. Harvey manages to make it through security and on to his plane without seriously injuring anyone so he calls it a win. Four hours later he hears the announcement of his impending arrival “Welcome to Los Angeles, current temperature 72 degrees."

"Bleh", he murmurs to no one in particular.

After fighting traffic _another reason to hate LA,_ Harvey finally gets to his hotel and sends a quick text to Gretchen to inform her of his arrival and to check for any last minute changes.

Most of the offices are dark back at Pearson Specter with the exception of one. Very few notice the light in a certain corner office, and even if they did, they knew better than to inquire why. There, three women sat. To some it would look like a strategic planning meeting to take over the world; they wouldn't be wrong. 

"Well he made it...now what?"

"Now we wait and see. Operation Lost and Found is officially launched. I've done all I can on this end. Jessica answers, raising her glass. 

"Do you still think this is a good idea? I mean the man looked ready to blow a gasket yesterday when he got back from your office."

"You think letting him walk around here like _The Bride_  for another 6 months was better?"

"Definitely not. And Kill Bill? Wait, on second thought...” Donna continues, “… that’s pretty accurate. But anyway trust me, he will only get worse until whatever 'this' is, plays out once and for all."

Harvey's suite looks out over the ocean. He enjoys the sounds of crashing surf, the smell of water and sand and the endless view of the sun setting beneath the water.  _Well, you can’t get this in New York._

He fires up the laptop and looks over the files to familiarize himself. Their client is looking to consolidate his partners and move the hub of operation to New York. Two hours in to it and Harvey finds that the files tell him nothing of why he had to fly almost 3000 miles to handle. _But when does Jessica every share the entire story._  Resigning himself that there is nothing else to learn in the paperwork, Harvey settles in for an early night.

The early morning sun streaming through the windows wakes Harvey before his alarm has the chance to. After a run along the shoreline, an extra-long hot shower (completely ignoring the sign that asks guest to be conscious of the water shortage and to please limit their water usage), and a light breakfast in the patio café, he is on his way to his appointment.

Lost in his thoughts, Harvey stares out of the window. The streets are all decked out in tinsel and strings of lights are weaved into the topiary. If it wasn’t for that, you would never know it is five days until Christmas-especially considering the balmy weather. Another wild ride through the streets of LA traffic has Harvey arriving at his destination late. And by late he is only 10 minutes early.

"Harvey Specter to see Jack Klingman" he tells the pretty blond.

"Just one moment sir." she answers with a bright smile.

After a quick conversation, and a not so quick gaze along the length of the visitor at her desk, she answers her voice just barely over a whisper and slightly breathy, "He will be right with you Mr. Specter. Can I get you _anything_ while you wait?” she purrs.

"No", Harvey smirks, “Thank you."

"Harvey Specter, pleasure to meet you" a strong voice calls out. Harvey rises and shakes the hand put out in front of him.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Klingman, though I have to admit, I am still unsure why I am here. From what I have read we could have done this over the phone."

"Please, call me Jack. Well Harvey, I’m what they call old school; prefer to do business face to face. Plus I couldn't ask my entire team to fly to New York during the holidays without a revolt. I hope it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience."

"Not at all, shall we?" Harvey gestures laying on the charm.

"Absolutely, follow me.”

Once in the office, they speak of goals and trends and future ideas before taking a quick lunch. "I really think you have covered quite a bit here.” Harvey states after rewriting a few of the clauses. "The only other thing I would suggest is to add some compensation protections in a separate trust for future earning and long term growth."

"Sounds good. I have a part time legal consultant on staff that has been looking at this with us on our end. He mentioned something along those lines as well."

"Well if you like I can meet with him and answer any questions if need be." Harvey offers wondering if this help is really a competitor.

"Sure, I will take you down there, he is here today. When you are done we can grab dinner. There is a great steak place not too far from here. Best filet in the city." Jack mentions, a slight lilt to his voice.

Harvey checks his watch. “Sure, maybe a quick dinner. I would really like to get this wrapped up before I leave tomorrow. By the way, have you picked out some potential places to set up shop?" Harvey asks.

"No, not yet, I have a few leads, but like I said, I am more of a face to face person. I plan on making a trip out there in the next month or so."

They walk the opposite way of the elevators towards the sound of multiple voices. As they turn the corner, Harvey hears Jack calling out to someone.

"Mike, just the person I was looking for." 

Harvey looks up in just in time to see a familiar set of blue eyes.

"Mike this is..."

"Harvey", he stammers.

It takes a millisecond for Harvey’s brain to catch up to what his eyes see in front of him.

"Well, rookie I can’t say I saw this coming", Harvey answers.

 


	2. Mike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the arrest, Mike gets one last golden ticket

6 months ago

If Mike didn't think his life could get any worse, boy was he wrong. This is to be the night, his world would change. Mike is putting the finishing touches on his resignation letter. He is going to walk away from one life filled with a secret so he could start another. It wasn't as if he didn't love Rachel, it was just that deep down inside he knew he wasn't in love with her. That spot was already taken and had been since he first stumbled into that interview. But tonight, it was time to let Harvey go. He places the envelope in his pocket and moves towards Harvey’s office. Inside, the air is thick and heavy, filled with words and emotions left unsaid over the years. They swirl around them waiting to be spoken, but as usual they both ignore them, leaving them to dissipate into regret.

Mike passes Harvey the letter, their fingers brushing up against each other and Mike knows he needs to hurry, to leave this office. Because if he stays any longer he will cave; willingly throw all of his good intentions away to stay at the side of the man who rescued him all those years before. The same man who became a mentor, a confidant, a friend and the object of his affection; though he was smart enough not to tell _him_ that last part. With one final embrace, Mike turns to walk out; trying to hold back the emotions that threaten to fall down his cheeks. And he makes it, just in time to witness the rest of his world crumble around him. His secret was out and it was time to pay the price.

He hears his name being called from an unfamiliar voice. What happens next is a blur of charges, handcuffs and walking out of Pearson Specter arrested. He had no idea that this ending would end up becoming his new beginning.

The first person he sees after his booking is Harvey, swearing up and down he will fix this. When he storms out the next person Mike sees is Rachel, face red and puffy, promising him they would get through this together. He looks at her and knows he can’t do it anymore. He knows what he has to do. The conversation that follows would’ve happened eventually. At least having it right then saves them both years of pain, anger and regret. Mike holds her hands and makes her promise. Promise to walk away right now and to one day find someone else; to have her dream wedding, her dream career, and most importantly her dream life.

"Don't let your life forever be soiled by me." He whispers through tears, watching her walk away.

The next morning he has another visitor- one he never expected in a million years to see.

"Mr. Ross"

It takes Mike a moment to find the words, his brain searching for what would be the right answer.

"Ms. Pearson, I'm so sorry. You have to know that I take full responsibility for my actions and I apologize for **never revealing my status to you or anyone at the firm**.” he states emphatically, fully aware that this conversation could be recorded.  "I will sign an affidavit to this fact..."

"Mike. Stop. No one is listening." She interrupts.  “You are part of our family, and family takes care of its own. You will be leaving here today.” She pauses a moment to let that sink in.

“This is your golden ticket- probably your last. How you choose to live your life is up to you moving forward. But if I were you, I would take a long hard look in the mirror and decide what kind of man you want to be going forward. ‘You can remain ordinary, pathetic, beat-down, coasting through a miserable existence, like sheep herded by fate - or you can take control of your own destiny’" She concludes.

Mike smiles. "I always meant to ask. The ability to quote a movie or book out of thin air; is that a requirement for working for you and on a side note 'Wanted'? Who saw that?"

"No, not a requirement, just highly preferred.” she answers smiling, "...and obviously you did since you knew where it came from, Mike."

“Thank you."

“You’re welcome.” She stands to go placing a thick envelope in his grasp. 

 Mike stops her. "Ms. Pearson", he asks sheepishly. “May I ask a favor?"

She quirks an eyebrow.

"I know I have a lot of shit to work out and I fully intend to use this chance to do that but…”  He hesitates, unsure how to say the next words. “But I can’t do it if _he_..." Mike looks down unable to finish.

Her gaze softens before she speaks. "I will make sure you have some time to figure things out. But know I can’t hide this forever, just like you can’t hide away forever. Understand?"

"Yes."  He answers a little surer of himself.

"Then, until we meet again Mr. Ross."

Two weeks later Mike lands at LAX with nothing more than a desire to change his life and be the man he always hoped he would become. He was given a clean slate and a chance. It hasn't been easy, but now there were no secrets hanging over his head to threaten his every move or anyone else.

Odd jobs became part time work as his easy going nature and quick brain opened doors. That was what led him to landing a job as a part time legal consultant with Klingman. And where he now stood face to face with the one part of his past, he had not let go of. As Mike stares into the chocolate eyes across from him filled with hurt and anger, he knows his time is up.

 _Well shit_ he thinks to himself.

"I take it you two know each other" Klingman's voice rings out filling the void."

"What? Um, yes. Sorry. You mentioned you were looking for me?" Mike answers trying to hide the strain in his voice. Mike’s eyes dart back and forth between Harvey and his boss. Harvey for once stays quiet- _probably shock, no most definitely shock_ Mike surmises. Of course that doesn't mean anyone within a 10 foot radius couldn’t feel the tension between them. Mikes boss included.

"Yes.” Klingman answers, “I was going to introduce you so you can both go over these updated figures Harvey provided. But…” He pauses, quickly assessing the situation playing out in front of him. "Harvey, why don't we skip our dinner and we can touch base tomorrow before your flight."

"Fine by me Jack." Harvey answers coolly. "I will talk to you tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Mike interjects before watching his boss make a hasty exit. _Smart man_ he thinks.

Mike's eyes once again meet Harvey's, they are hard and distant. "All I ask is that you give me a chance to explain and that we not do this here." Mike implores.

"Oh, you will explain all right", Harvey seethes, his anger barely contained within the confines of his suit.

"Let me drop off these last reports and we can leave from here. Can I meet you in the lobby in say ten minutes?" Mike asks carefully trying to avoid any trigger that might set the other man off.

Harvey nods before striding towards the elevators and Mike releases the breath he was holding.  _Oh shit_ he thinks, ten minutes. Ten minutes is all he has to prepare to confront the one man he still hasn't been able to let go. Ten minutes before he has to look and act as if he has.

 _What the hell just happened?_ Harvey asks himself while he sits in the lobby, pointedly ignoring the flirty looks the blond from earlier. Mike was supposed to be secluded away in jail; refusing all visitors, refusing him.  At least that is what all of his contacts kept telling him every time he tried to find out any information. _How the hell is he here? Not just here but free._ And why does his heart feel like it’s going to rip right out of his dam chest. He wants to be relieved, hell, he thinks he should be happy (and yes somewhere deep inside he is, really is), but right now he can’t see past the anger. Anger at being lied to, by being betrayed.

With each passing minute Harvey's angers grows, dam near peaking when he sees the man himself walking toward him. He notices how Mike looks then, calm, sure of himself; he looks like a new man; a man who has moved on. Harvey sighs, making up his mind to keep this as short as possible and then finish up his business so he can leave this _damn town_ and one Mike Ross behind for good. 

"You ready?" Mike asks, walking them towards the back of the building.

"Lead the way."

Mike takes them to the garage. Harvey looks up slightly panicky. “You drive now?"

"Yep, kinda have no choice out here."

"And this is considered safe transportation out here?” he asks checking out Mike's used Honda.   

"Will you just get in?"

"Fine, but if I die, I will haunt come back and haunt you."

 _Like you don't already,_ Mike's mind supplies. "Get in line." he says, an uneasy smile on his face.

The drive is painful, silent; the air once again thick with words unsaid floating between them. They pull into a jazz club he frequents when he wants to visit his old life.  With music and a menu worthy enough for one Harvey Specter, Mike figures it is the perfect place to put the past to bed for good. They take their time looking over the menu, both fearing the inevitable conversation they know they need to have. Mike is waiting for the storm that sits in front of him to start. But Harvey has long mastered the art of waiting out his opponent. He is pointedly ignoring his brain that is reminding him of all the nights he spent with regret for words and feelings he never shared while watching Mike build a new life without him. Something he gathers, looking at the man in front of him dressed in dark jeans, white button up shirt, coat and no tie, has done. Of course it is nowhere near the clothing standard he is accustomed to, but on Mike, well it looks …good. He sighs, sips on his drink, and waits for the penny to drop.  

Mike is biting his lip. He knows he can’t out wait the man across from him. To some he is the picture of calm but Mike knows better; he knows on the inside Harvey is a storm on the verge of unleashing any minute, waiting. Can he tell him the real reason, should he? Or should he just…

“Harvey", Mike starts. “You don't know how many times I wanted to…”


	3. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they have seen each other, there is no stopping this train wreck. Mike and Harvey go to dinner to talk...more like yell. Nothing fuels anger more than pain.

 

Harvey leans forward, and Mike can’t even finish his statement before Harvey is tearing into him. Releasing the anger and pain that has been storing up since that night, maybe even before. 

“Why the hell didn’t you then! Do you know what we went through, what _I_ went through? I tried everything to get you out, tried seeing you. And by the way, how the hell are you out of jail? Last I heard you were sentenced for five years”.

“Jessica.” Mike answers weakly

“Jessica?!” Harvey yells, causing a few nearby patrons to turn towards them. “Are you fucking kidding me? She does this behind my back and then doesn’t even tell me. I can’t fucking believe this.”

“I asked her not to, and…” Harvey’s head snaps up and Mike knows immediately that that was the wrong thing to say.

“You asked her not to tell me?” Harvey hisses through gritted teeth. “What happened to trust, Mike? Or goddamn loyalty? What the hell happened to you?” He downs the rest of his drink before continuing, a look of disgust and disappointment in his eyes. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Harvey’s words feel like a punch in the gut and Mike wishes he could explain; could tell him how he did it for him.

“So what, now you are living it up out here...”

Something in Mike’s chest cracks open. “Living it up? Is this what you call getting arrested, having to start all over with nothing?” Mike seethes, channeling his pain into anger.

“I gave up everything Harvey! “

"You had me." Harvey spats

"And what good was that, huh? You were going to be disbarred Harvey- everything you loved about practicing law was going to be taken away! The firm was crumbling beneath everyone's feet and I couldn't. I couldn’t just stand by and let that happen.”

Mike pauses to catch his breath while a slightly nervous waiter delivers their food.

“When I was given this chance…” Mike continues, his voice slightly more in control, “… and trust me it was a shocked to me too, I knew the only way I could survive, the only way **all** of us could survive was to start over. Go someplace far away, where my name, my presence could no longer taint any of you."

"So you ran when you could've come to me. Mike, I could've, we could've... ”

"Could've what Harvey, fixed it?  Pick up your puppy's mess like you always did? Weren’t you tired of having to do that? You deserve better." the  _someone better than me_ went unsaid.  “I couldn't let you do it, not this time. This time I had to stand on my own two feet. This was the only way."

Harvey sits in silence watching Mike, with tears brimming in his eyes, bite his lips while vomiting emotions all over the table in front of him. He wants to run, to hide. It was all just too much to handle. How foolish was he to think he could ever do this, ever be like…

“I needed this start Harvey" Mike resigns, his voice softening. "I needed to learn to live on my own two feet _honestly;_ without the threat of some secret that could take me and anyone I cared about down. 

“But we were a team Mike.”

“I wanted you to have a fresh start too Harvey. As hard as it was to leave...”   _you_.  “…I knew it would be better for everyone if I did. I told you that night I never wanted you to be in a position to get hurt because of me. This was my chance to fulfill that promise. Don't think I wasn't tempted to give up, to come back.”  Mike smiles, remembering those first few weeks when he debated hustling to get work or just hustling to get by.

"But I did it and I am still doing it. These days I am living an honest life- not just with work, but also as a person. I no longer want to pretend to be somebody I am not. I think more than anything else, I am now the person my parents and Grammy would've have been proud of.”

Harvey notices how the changes look on Mike. His face has lost some of his youthful charm; some of its innocence, replaced with the hardened lines of experience. But mostly Harvey notices that he no longer sees the boy, but the man he has grown into. _And dam if it didn't look good,_ his conscious supplies.

Harvey wants to say he’s proud of Mike too, but instead he presses on.

“Why didn't you call me when you got your life on track?” Harvey asks, careful to hold back his tongue from releasing the feelings floating around his consciousness. _I need you, I want you in my life, I lo..."_ Some part of his brain realizes what was coming and immediately squashes it. He does **not** feel that way _._ And if there’s one thing Harvey Specter has learned- it’s how to lie to himself effectively.

“I don't know Harvey”, Mike answers, the truth on the tip of his tongue. _I can’t call you, it’s too fucking hard. If I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself from falling back in love with you._

They finish their meal and move on to talks about the company while the rest of the conversation gets digested in silence. When it is all said and done they are back on the road and Mike, who surprisingly is a very good driver- though Harvey has no intention of telling him this, is pulling into Harvey's hotel. Mike sighs and puts the car in park, wanting just a few more moments with the man he knows he will never see again after tonight. 

“Harvey”, he says turning to the man whose face has been in a permanent scowl since dinner.  "You have to know, I am only here today because of you. You saved my life, and I thought at the time there would never come a time when I could repay you for that. And when..." Mike starts to choke up.

Watching Mike open up completely has Harvey fighting his own reactions. While tears fall down Mike’s cheek, he clinches his hands into fists desperate to stop himself from reaching out and wiping them away, or for that matter grabbing him and kissing them away.

 Mike clears his throat, trying to gain some composure to finish.   "...and when I was sitting in that cell my life became crystal clear. I knew that it was my turn to save you. So I did. I knew walking away from you was the only way and I owed you that, that and so much more. I care about you too much to..."

And that's when the dam breaks. Harvey, no longer able to stop himself, reaches for Mike and covers his lips with his own. After the initial shock, Mike acquiesces and leans into him. The kiss is hot, demanding and desperate, filling up all the empty space between them. And when he licks his way into Mike’s mouth, Mike opens up and groans allowing Harvey to deepen the kiss, to reach those places beyond the words. Electric currents are flowing freely between them fueled by intense want and need.

Harvey breaks the kiss, driven by the need for oxygen. His brain takes a moment to remind him of all the reasons this isn’t a good idea; telling him to stop and walk away, but right now his body is whispering seductive words such as _want_ , _need_ and _more_. He looks into Mikes eyes, dark with desire and decides his body is in charge now, brain be dam.

“Come up with me” he says panting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the most fun to write. I love passionate arguments, when you don't care who is around and you cant stop yourself from laying it all there on the table. It was fun to see what secrets these two might share- though still is wasn't enough. Maybe next chapter.


	4. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike and Harvey consider crossing the line; can they mend in one night what took years to break apart?

Mike hesitates briefly, trying to decide between doing the right thing and doing the wrong thing that feels oh so right. Harvey captures his lips once again in a mind blowing kiss and a deep craving makes itself known within Mike’s body overwhelming him. His brain is trying to fight it, but when he feels Harvey’s hand ghosting over his hardening erection, it flames out. White heat floods his veins and Mike knows he has lost the battle. At the moment he just doesn’t care, all he does know is that he will follow Harvey anywhere, like always.

The elevator ride is long, too long in Harvey's opinion. Mike is standing in front of him. Blue eyes locked with brown in the reflection of the doors. Harvey is mesmerized by Mike’s perfect lips, red and swollen from kissing. He can’t stop his hand from reaching out to touch the younger man’s lower back, finding _his_ spot, the one he marked over and over when they worked together. And when Mike hitches his breath and leans back slightly, it feels like coming home.

Once inside, the door can barely close before Mike is being pushed up against the wall. The low moan that escapes from his lips is like an aphrodisiac to Harvey’s ears. Mike pulls Harvey into him, and tilts his head slightly. At this angle the kiss is perfect just on the right side of filthy. It’s wet and sloppy filled with tongues fighting for dominance.

Mike knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t stop his lips from spilling the secret of how much he wants this, has wanted this for so long.

"Yes, too dam long...Harvey whispers before licking the shell of Mike’s ear. Rational thought takes a hiatus as Mike feels Harvey's hands yank his shirttails out from his jeans and touch his skin. Heat blooms at every connection point and Mike pulls Harvey in closer. He bites Harvey’s lip and grinds his erection into Harvey’s clothed dick. The moan that spills from Harvey’s lips would make Hollywood blush.

"Mike, fuck"  Harvey pants, his mouth moving towards Mikes neck. He is alternating between licking and sucking until Mike turns his head giving him more access.

“I need to have you, can’t get enough of you” Harvey hears himself say, before going back to the spot he was worrying on Mike's neck biting him, marking him.

"Harvey!" Mike shouts.

Harvey releases his former associate and looks into Mike’s hooded eyes. He knows they mimic his own. "Bedroom?"

Mike’s brain reconnects and Mike can literally see the line he is thinking of crossing.  For one brief moment he thinks of saying stop, and running out of the room. It’s not as if Mike doesn't want this, he just knows he wants this too much. How is he going to wake up tomorrow and go on knowing there will be no more nights like this? He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. At that moment, he feels Harvey's finger lift his chin. Mike opens his eyes and is captured by the brown ones staring back at him; soft and full of something he dare not name. When his lips softly brush against Mike once again, Mike surrenders and kisses back softly, deeply and full of all the words they never spoke aloud and willingly crosses the line.

"Yes." Mike utters trying to return oxygen and maybe a few rational thoughts back up the bigger head. Harvey grabs his hand and leads into the back room of the suite. Once there, Mike begins to undress, but Harvey stops him. Mike quirks an eyebrow- a silent question. One Harvey answers when his fingers slowly and carefully begin undoing the buttons of Mike's shirt, his eyes never leaving Mike's.

Harvey takes his time, wanting to savor this moment he knows he will never have again.

Harvey's hands brush along his shoulders sliding off the now unbuttoned shirt down and off, exposing Mike’s chest.

"I know I have never said this Mike, but you're beautiful."

Mike tries to choke back a moan as Harvey drops to his knees. Harvey reaches out and undoes the buckle of his pants and he feels like someone let the oxygen out of the room. The vision of Harvey on his knees in front of him has Mike feeling dizzy.

"So goddamn beautiful." Harvey whispers into his skin right above the waist band of Mike’s boxers, his pants already pooling around his ankles. Harvey noses at Mike’s dick, rigid and begging for release. He looks up briefly through his lashes and the picture before him almost makes Mike come right then and there.

“Harvey please”, Mike begs.

“Shh... let me take care of you” Harvey whispers before sliding his fingers through the legs to cup his balls while mouthing Mike's dick through the cotton material.

"Oh fuck, Harvey, I don't think I can...”

"Don't think you can what, baby? Hmm?"  He pauses giving Mikes balls a little squeeze. Mike grunts in response.

"Think you can let me taste you? You _can_ do that can’t you? Will you let me kiss the inside of your thighs; wrap my mouth around that gorgeous cock of yours. Get it all nice and wet and then lick and suck you until you quiver? Because I am going to do that and so much more. Mike, I want to be balls deep hearing you scream my name and then feel my dick in your pulsating hole while you come undone beneath me. 

The sensations from Harvey's expert dirty talk and the feel of his hands on Mike’s skin has him chasing sensation from every direction. Moans are freely falling from his lips and he is holding on to Harvey's shoulders like he is the only thing anchoring him to this plane.

"Can you do that Mike?" Harvey asks lasciviously while pulling down his boxers to join his pants releasing Mike’s dick which is long and lean and heavily leaking pre-come. Mike has one brief moment of clarity watching Harvey inhale his scent before completely blanking out when he feel Harvey's mouth envelope him.

The filthy moan that falls out of Mike's mouth should embarrass him and the hotel itself considering how loud and pornographic it must sound. But he can’t think about that right now. All Mike can focus on are the words swirling around the edges of his consciousness. They sound a little like _"want, need, yes, more, please, Harvey!"_ Until there are no more words that can be said.

Harvey, feeling Mike go rigid, removes his mouth placing his hand at the base of Mike’s length stopping Mike’s release.

“Not yet baby. I meant it when I said I want to feel you come with me inside of you.”

"Fuck, Harvey", Mike whines.

“Yes, I plan to.” Harvey finishes, completely satisfied in the fucked out disheveled look of his former associate. 

"But I'm not done with you yet" Harvey states, his voice low and full of desire.

Mike reaches over and cups Harvey's face with is hand, and leans in for a kiss that quickly turns deeper. He can taste himself on Harvey’s tongue and nothing has ever turned him on more.

"Good because neither am I." Mike replies.

He kicks off his shoes now having the answer as to why his pants were still on and removes the rest of his clothing. Harvey starts to undress, but like he did earlier, Mike stops him. 

"My turn." Mike whispers against Harvey's lips. His fingers move deftly across the remaining clothes that cling to Harvey's skin with sweat. Moments later the only remaining article of clothing on Harvey is his black briefs. Mike nudges Harvey on to the bed then follows him maneuvering himself until he is straddling Harvey's hips.

Mike trails kisses along Harvey's chest. When he reaches Harvey's nipples, Mikes tongues sucks on them greedily, his tongue alternating between circling the little nubs gently and tugging on them with his teeth until he hears the other man gasp. And if the sight of Harvey Specter writhing below him isn't enough to make his dick start to pay more attention, the sound that came out of him is.

"Shit Harvey, you feel so good", Mike moans maneuvering his hips up and down on  Harvey’s body, brushing up against his dick which is still wrapped up in black briefs. Mike reaches behind him and drags his fingers along Harvey’s thighs, just hard enough to leave little reminders of this night

Harvey's mind is racing. Mike is breaking him apart layer by layer, and those sounds. The kid must be a secret porn star the way he moans and moves and…

“Ohhh, Mike. Mike, Mike”, Harvey pleads- at least that what he thinks he is doing.

“Mm?” Mike answers cupping Harvey's covered girth, giving it a little squeeze. “You like that?” He asks, his voice low and dirty in a good way. In that instant, Harvey’s mind stills. The only thing he knows now is that he has got to have this man- now!

 "Play time is over junior," With a growl he hooks his leg around Mike and flips them both over. He covers Mike’s body with his own, holding the younger man close. Harvey pauses for a moment. He wants to be sure, needs to be sure. He’s staring into those ice blue eyes and he can no longer ignore the truth. He thinks about saying it, knows he should tell him. _I love you_. Instead, he softens his voice and gives Mike a choice.

"You can still walk away if that's what you want, Mike."

Mike is lost in the look in Harvey’s eyes, in the feel of him in his arms and the words sit on the tip of his tongue, where they stop. _I can’t walk away. I love you_. "Fuck me Harvey, fuck me now."

Harvey gets off the bed and heads to the bathroom. Mike can hear him rummaging around in what he assumes is his toiletry bag, before returning to where Mike is waiting on the bed stroking himself calmly.

“Fuck”, Harvey swears. “Look at you, fucked out and positively sinful."

Harvey climbs back on the bed dropping a bottle of lube and a condom on the coverlet. He pulls himself over Mike so that their bodies are aligned and touching from shoulders to thighs and kisses him deeply, possessively. When they break for air Harvey begins a slow slide down Mike’s body like he owns it, leaving marks from his mouth along the way.

When he nudges Mike’s thighs with his lips Mike parts them easily, giving Harvey access to that patch of skin just beneath his balls. Harvey’s tongue is wet and warm on Mike’s skin. The first lick of Harvey's tongue at his entrance causes Mike to jump, but Harvey's hands is there to hold him steady.

“Oh shit, Harvey, what are you? Oh Fuck.” Once again higher brain function leaves Mike as Harvey continues to attack his hole with his tongue alternating between swirling around lazily and plunging in and out at a rapid pace. Moments or maybe hours later, _who can tell_ Mike thinks or tries to think while getting expertly rimmed by Harvey’s _fucking_ _talented tongue_ , he feels a finger broach him. Harvey alternates between his lubed finger and tongue, reducing Mike to a babbling mess. That is until he feels Harvey crook said finger. And that was the last thing Mikes mind comprehends as stars explode behind his eyes.

Harvey watches as Mike goes from fucked out to the perfect picture of debauchery. He adds a generous dollop of lube and another finger scissoring them, further opening his lover up. Mike yells his approval placing his hands against the headboard for leverage so he can fuck himself down on Harvey's fingers. 

“Harvey shit, please, oh god, just please." Mike stammers, trying to choose between talking, moaning and breathing.

"That's it baby. I want you just like this." Harvey whispers placing kisses along Mike’s thigh moving his fingers in and out.

"Oh yes. Please…in me...now", Mike cries.

“Yes, I am going to be so deep in you. Going to fuck your tight hole; make you feel so good. You're going to be so good for me aren't you Mike? "

"So good", Mike manages to hiss out as he feels the burn of a third finger being added. 

“Yes baby, I think you’re ready for me now.” Harvey whispers.

Mike whines when he feels Harvey remove his fingers. He watches Harvey removes his briefs and stares at his wide cock, his mouth going dry. He licks his lips, imagining the feel of Harvey’s cock, on his tongue, down his throat, fucking his mouth. He instantly he doesn't care about anything else but having Harvey any way and every way possible.

Mike scrabbles up just before Harvey applies the condom. Kneeling in front of him, Mike looks at Harvey through his lashes then bends down to run his tongue up the underside of Harvey’s dick before circling the head. In one quick motion he takes his length down his throat and moans. Warm heat has Harvey falling back on his knees calling out Mikes name with a shout before grabbing Mike by his hair pulling him off.  Satisfied for the moment, Mike lies back across the bed and spreads his legs wide; an open invitation.

Harvey is at a loss for words. He wants this man more than anything right now. Once the condom is firmly in place, Harvey positions himself between the v of Mikes parted legs then slowly begins to enter his lover, pausing every so often allowing Mike time to adjust to the welcome intrusion.  

"Oh fuck", Mike cries, low and full of want. He takes a deep breath, willing himself to relax. When Harvey is completely sheathed inside Mike, he lowers himself so that they are inches apart. 

"Mike, look at me" Harvey whispers.

Mike opens his eyes, trying desperately to shield the emotions from flitting across his face.

They stay like that for a moment. Silently breathing together, enjoying the moment for what it is. 

"I can feel you all over; filling me, marking me from the inside out." Mike whispers against Harvey's lips.

I want to make love to you Mike, Can I do that?”

Mikes eyes shine with unshed tears, and he pulls Harvey down for a deep kiss not caring that where that mouth was just moments before.

Yes, Harvey, please...you can do anything you want to me."

They start off slow and sensual. Moving in rhythm, much like they did when they worked together; anticipating, instinctively knowing what the other wants and needs. Harvey rolling his hips and Mike arching up to meet each measured thrust. But soon the need to completely give in to all of the emotions they both have been hiding makes itself known. And before long all that can be heard is the rhythmic slapping of flesh against flesh, the thump of the headboard hitting the wall and the guttural moans of faster, harder and deeper. 

"Please Harvey", Mike cries, his dick hard and leaking.

"You’re so tight, feel so good.”

Harvey pulls up on to his knees folding Mike in half. This new position changes the angle, deepens each thrust. It allows for Harvey’s cock to brush over that tiny bundle of nerves that has Mike short circuiting in pleasure.

 “Oh fuck, Harvey, yes. Don’t stop, god please don’t stop.”

“I'm right there baby, that’s it. Come on sweetheart, come for me Mike." Harvey orders thrusting deep intertwining his fingers with Mike’s

“Oh shit! I’m gonna…”

Mike stiffens beneath him, coming untouched with a wail. His orgasm crashing through him like rolling waves as long white spurts paint his chest and stomach. Harvey feels Mike fall apart around him and with one final push he tumbles over the edge, biting into Mike’s skin, Mike’s name falling like a prayer from his lips.  

“That was…” Mike slurs.

“Yeah”, Harvey pants.

When he can feel his legs again, Harvey disposes of the condom, and grabs a wash towel from the bathroom, cleaning both him and Mike up. He doesn't want the night to end here; doesn't want "them" to end here. He climbs back under the covers and pulls Mike in close.

“Stay the night with me”

"M'kay" Mike answers sleepily burrowing his back into Harvey's chest, relishing the feel of Harvey's arms holding him tight.

"Mike?" Harvey whispers, fighting off impending sleep. Getting no response he continues. "Come back," he whispers into Mike’s ear before drifting off.

Mike opens his eyes briefly, hearing every word. _If only I could._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first Marvey sex scene. I kept trying to keep it succinct but as you can see...ahem, I kind of love me some words (blushes).


	5. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Mike wake up the next morning to an unchanged reality. Not everything can be fixed.

 

Mike wakes up first, the sun streaming through the patio doors. The first thing he notices is that his body is sore. I mean really sore. Sore like he hasn't been in like forever. The second thing he notices is that he is wrapped up like a mummy by Harvey's arms and legs all intertwined and hot against his skin.

"Good morning", Harvey's voice still gravelly from deep sleep rumbles into his ear.

“Morning” he answers back. He turns to face the man who 24 hours ago, was a painful memory living on another coast, afraid of what he might see. He searches Harvey's eyes, looking for any signs of regret or shame.

Harvey kisses him chastely on the lips. "Would you like to order breakfast before we get started on work while I grab a shower?

Mike’s face must display his puzzlement because for the life of him he has no idea what to do next.

"What? Did you want to shower first?" Harvey smirks, getting up and walking to the bathroom. He's still very much naked and Mike has no choice but to ogle his fine ass walking away from the bed.

His brain does finally does catch up so he yells loud enough for Harvey to hear above the flushing toilet.

Work?

"Yes genius work," Harvey answers while washing his hands. "The reason I was ordered out here. The figures for the merger we were supposed to be going over last night while we were...,” and Mike watches as a smile spreads across Harvey's face, "...otherwise engaged."

"You were _ordered_ to come out and deal with Klingman personally? How did that... Wait Jessica sent you?”, Mike continues, realizing this meet up may have been more calculated then coincidence. 

"Yes, although now that I am thinking about it, I am starting to wonder if that was the only reason" Harvey muses.

"I'll shower first, you order breakfast. I would hate for you to yell at me because they didn't have your favorite expensive coffee or something." Mike chides, grabbing his clothes off the floor and heading for the shower.

Breakfast comes and goes and just like old times, Harvey and Mike fall into their natural rhythm. With work concluded it was back to the awkwardness of the situation at hand.

"What time does your flight leave today?" Mike asks, his voice barley a whisper.

“Two.” The word falls heavily from Harvey’s mouth. Now spoken, reality comes crashing back like a dark cloud and it immediately changes the temperature of the room. 

"Can I give you a ride to the airport?" Mike asks quietly.

“Sure, let me cancel the service”, Harvey answers unable to look at the younger man.

They sit in silence a moment when Harvey catches Mike’s attention, a question in his eyes.

"Are you happy?" Harvey inquires suddenly afraid. He's afraid that the answer will be yes; that Mike is happier, and that this will be goodbye for good.

_Do the right thing_ , _Let him go._ Mike tells himself. "It has been rough these few months, but I am getting used to it. I think I am on the road to happy."

"I'm proud of you.” Harvey states, once again choosing to look at anything else other than Mike fearing he would see the pain in his eyes.

At noon, Mike is pulling into LAX. The ride was quiet. It would seem that there were no more words left to say.

“You know, were only a phone call, email away, this doesn’t have to be…” Mike starts, trying to make his mouth say something that would make this moment less painful but coming up short.

"Yeah sure", Harvey answers grabbing his bag from the trunk.

Mike exits his side to give the man one last hug. _How many times am I going to have to say goodbye to this man,_ he wonders.

Harvey steps into the embrace and holds on tight. "Take care of yourself.” He manages to choke out. Harvey starts to pull away, but stops. He has one last thing to tell Mike. Now more than ever, especially since he knows this is goodbye. Before he lets go, he places a small kiss against Mike’s lips before tilting his head to reach Mike’s ear.

“I love you Mike.” He whispers, then turns around and walks away. 

And with that, Mike is dumbstruck. He watches Harvey walk out of his arms, into the terminal and out of his life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am truly exhausted now. Why cant these two make it easy for a girl to get her happy ending!


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike discovers that living honestly, can have a happy ending. And Harvey gets an early morning Christmas present

Present Day

Christmas time is Mike’s favorite time of year. This year they are hosting friends and family at their house. The food is catered, the wine is flowing and Mike can just hear John Lennon’s version ‘So this is Christmas’ softly playing in the background. He came out to the patio to spend a quiet moment to reflect on his life. To remember things like the smell of his Grammy’s pies baking in the oven, the warmth of the home he shared with his parents, and past loves.

The door slides open and the sounds get louder for a moment. Mike smiles thinking about those currently in his life, absently playing with the band on his left hand.

"What are you thinking of on this chilly night?" A warm voice asks. Something inside Mike melts and he leans back into the body he instinctively knows is behind him. 

“I was just thinking of our first Christmas together." Mike answers.

“You mean the one where you tried to cook and nearly set the entire kitchen on fire?”

"Hey, that was an accident; you're the one who insisted on a turkey ten times bigger than the maximum limit. And for your information I was not thinking of that one, I was remembering the one before that." 

 

2 years ago

Hearing Harvey say he loved him was something Mike wasn’t in any way shape or form expecting. Who plans for something like that? He went home and sat for hours thinking until he made a decision. Then he made a phone call. If all went according to his plan, he just might make it in time to spend Christmas in the only place he wanted to be; Harvey's arms. 

         Group Text 7:00: Looks like Operation Lost and Found was a success. Both boys will be home in time for Christmas.

         Reply Group text 7:02: Preliminary contracts for consult work with some of our clients are set up. Interviews will start next week.

         Reply Group text 7:06: I've got appointments scheduled with Rene', checked into some office rental spaces close by and I'm thinking of a spring wedding.

 

After flying all night, Mike walked up to Harvey's condo early Christmas morning. He knocked- loudly.

"Who the fuck is it?” Harvey grumbled, ready to chew out whoever convinced his doorman that this was a good time to visit. He was shocked to find Mike standing there completely disheveled, with red swollen eyes and morning stubble. In a word, he looked gorgeous.

"What are you...?”

“I love you.”  Mike answered; the words tripping over themselves to get out. “I have been in love with you for like forever and I want to...”

All other words were cut off by Harvey pulling him inside and crashing his lips against Mike’s. When they were both starved for air, they broke apart.

“I love you too. But I thought, I mean how.” Harvey asked between kisses.

“Well you see it really was simple. I was serious when I told you I wanted to live honestly. I discovered after you left I could no longer do it there.”

“Why?”

“Because I honestly didn't want to spend another day not being with you.”

Harvey rolled his eyes. "Idiot.", he whispered along Mike’s skin

"Merry Christmas?"

"Yes, it is now. And speaking of Christmas, it looks like Santa brought a gift to my door. I think I want to unwrap it in the bedroom.”

“Lead the way” Mike says smiling. 

 

Present Day

“Oh, that one” Harvey whispers, nuzzling Mike's neck.

Mike turns so that he is facing Harvey, his arms wrapping around the older man’s neck.

"Yes, that one" Mike leans in for a quick kiss. "I can’t believe I was so stupid."

"We both were."

“Merry Christmas Mr. Specter”, Mike purrs into Harvey's ear.

“Merry Christmas to you too Mr. Specter” Harvey easily replies back to his husband.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! What can I say, sometimes you have to go half way around the world to find your way back home.  
> Thanks for taking the time to read my response to the latest Marvey Fic Challenge. See you on the flip side

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Forgive the typos. This is for Marvey Fic Challenge #43 - So this is Christmas on tumbler. It only took me 9000 words to meet the requirement- sheesh! you can find me there as well @sairyn-noc


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